Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
