oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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