sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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