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we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
