Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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