Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
