no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize