I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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