one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
