I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
