The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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