we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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