Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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