he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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