Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
