3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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