I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
