it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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