Im at strip club and am horny
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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