I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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