I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
