my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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