Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
it was like eating out sand paper
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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