Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
