Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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