Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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