As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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