My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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