come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
