I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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