I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
