After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
