Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
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