I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
