I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
