Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
im six kinds of drunk right now
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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