i just google imaged poop.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
