Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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