Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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