I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
