I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize