Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
