Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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