And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
