just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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