And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
