3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
