conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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