Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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