Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
