She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize