i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
