Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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