just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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