He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
