There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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