I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize