you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
