so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
