All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
