I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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