she told me i tasted like america
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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