I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
