You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
