hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
